As if no one reads what I say.
I can't blame anyone.
I am, out of scope.
No one reads what I write.
After I am dead, someone will appreciate what I have written. I hope they make money.
Like my book, "Into the Mystic (From the Streets of Brooklyn)," this blog is devoted to discussions of "The Mystic" -- that expanded state of awareness where we connect with Spirit and experience other realities. As Spirit brought me to 9/11 Truth, discussions of what really happened on 9/11, and related deep events, are also covered. Some lighter stuff as well.
I was 13, maybe just 14, years of age. Some things, you never forget.
Recently, around that time, I had broken up with my very first girlfriend Eve (not her real name), who was a knockout. She was a few months older. But I was drawn to hotter and flashier girls who had spontaneously appeared in the Brooklyn neighborhood known as Sheepshead Bay.
Eve, a classmate, wanted me back, I was told by a third party.
Problem was, Eve and I never really communicated very well. A third party would often be involved in relaying messages back and forth to Eve and me.
Eve planned a party, allegedly to get us back together--or so I was told. I was not interested in resuming our past relationship. But I went to the party.
During the party, I made out with Eve and another girl (let's call her Kathy) to show to Eve that I did not want to be exclusive with Eve. I was sure that the message was accurately sent.
On the way home, two very older roughnecks attacked me and my friend. We escaped easily. They were drunk.
The next day, three tough and older guys approached me, in the Sheepshead Theater. One guy (Leo, not his name) smacked me in the back of the head and then landed two weak punches to the face. Originally, I felt I had done wrong by making out with Kathy, as Leo had stated. However, I wanted to kill Leo if he would hit me with one more punch. But there was no third puch.
Had there been a third punch, I felt for sure that I would have retaliated and beaten Leo. But, would the other two guys jump on me during the fight? Three vs. one? Unknown ending. Unknown future.
Leo's ire was that I had made out with Kathy the night before at Eve's party. Leo had been connected to Kathy, which I did not know.
Days later, Kathy made Leo apologize to me for attacking me. The apology happened at a confraternity dance. Bewildered, I accepted the apology. Kathy was in charge. I thanked her for that, in my heart, tho I was a bit confused.
Kathy was a pretty and powerful girl. I liked her a lot. But we never really dated, only kissing and hugging on the dance floor when the party lights went out. We had lost contact after Eve's party, as I recall.
That Sheepshead Bay Theater event haunted me for decades. I felt like a punk. That event still haunts me now. But not nearly as much.
It was December of 1968. At Shea Stadium, it was Jets vs Raiders. The winner would progress to the Super Bowl.
The Jets beat the Raiders in the 1968 AFL Championship.
I was there, at Shea Stadium. In the upper decks.
Namath was at the helm, and he was doing well.
But...every time I left the seats to smoke hash in the corridors, and warm up, the Raiders scored. Three times that happened, as I recall.
I was about to leave my seat the fourth time and the BIG tough guys surrounding me said, "Stay the fuck here. You ain't going nowhere. Stay the fuck here. Every time you leave, Oakland scores. Stay the fuck here."
I was ok with staying. I was pretty high anyway.
There was an open field to our left. I think it was third down. The quarterback didn't see the open man. Incomplete pass, in the other way.
Then the Raiders were on a comeback, but a lateral pass ended up in the Jets' hands.
I was congratulated for having stayed in the the seats that I had occupied during the end of the game.
Fans congratulated me, as if I were part of the Jet win scenario.
Jets went on to win the Super Bowl. Amazing!
I like James Spader as an actor. He's the star in Boston Legal.
Spader was on Broadway. The show was dated. It was before 2013.
On the way out, with my then-girlfriend next to me (I can't recall if we were making physical contact), I saw Candice Bergen.
Candice smiled at me. Not sure why. Maybe I was hallucinating. But, I didn't think so.
I was shocked. And exhilarated. It was a reality to me.
I will always remember that smile.
I still wonder, was she smiling at me? I think she was.
I was emailing an old girlfriend some weeks ago. During the texted conversation, she said that my darkness had made her unhappy, when we were together (many years ago).
I never knew I was dark. And I certainly didn't realize that my "darkness" had made her unhappy.
I apologized for causing her unhappiness. Via my alleged darkness.
I think that I may have been dark, in retrospect, compared to her. She routinely listened to Public Radio. I could not stand the propaganda.
Clearly her opinion of me, as being dark, was a subjective opinion. But was I dark, objectively? I don't think I'll ever know.
I'm sure no one cares.
Life goes on.
Day by day.
[Could not make this URL link below work. Copy, paste, and listen; if you want to. The "Darkness, Darkness" lyrics are further below. The URL works now, as I type. Absence of automatic link may involve money, methinks.]